I could never describe the love I had for you - not now nor in the past. Many people describe love as if it were something so easy to talk about, but I find it to be quite the opposite. Some say that love cannot exist without the presence of certain circumstances, but depending on what those are, I’d beg to differ. The love which I held for you deep in my heart was not based on physical attraction, but the connection I felt that I had with you and your wonderful personality. Neither of us were perfect - we were both quite far from that in different aspects but we came to accept each other as we were, and that’s why I was willing to give you my undying devotion if you were willing to accept it.

However, things did not turn out the way we wished them to and our relationship was put to an abrupt end for reasons which I still haven’t been able to explain fully for you. There were so many factors which lead to that path, but even though we cannot change the past, I cannot forget the pain and agony I felt that night. Sometimes I feel as if I’ve just wiped away the tears and try to nurse my bleeding heart, though the dagger was driven through it by my own hand. I still wish you would tell me how you felt at that time - you always tried your best to be so strong, but it was really your vulnerable side which I wanted to see the most.

You keep jumping in and out of my life and I don’t know what I should make of it. Part of me advises to move on while the other half is still clinging onto the past, hoping that you still feel the love for me now as I unknowingly held onto my feelings for you. I’m torn between which path to follow, yet I cannot bring myself to tell you that I still hold you dear in my heart in that way. Its fine if you think I love you dearly as a friend, but I dont know what would happen if I were to bring these feelings up once again suddenly. I don’t want you to disappear from my life. Quite the contrary, I want to do anything I can to keep you in it, whether it be mere messages, phone calls or perhaps a visit. Something inside of me doesn’t want you to forget me, or what we had because you gave me something so precious that I now treasure it with my life. If you were to forget such a thing, I don’t know if I am able to cope with that pain.

Is it sad that I’m still finding it so hard to let go? Its been almost two years now, yet I still remember everything as if it only occured yesterday. A bittersweet memory, reminding me of what I once had and no longer do.

Perhaps, one day, I will be able to ask you face to face on your true feelings of our situation. However, for now, they shall remain unspoken.

PS. Sorry for the mispelled words, i'm typing this as fast as
i could. the laptop's internet connection is going crazy!!:((..And so sorry for the random picXD