People say that hate is a strong word
But so is love
Yet we throw it around like its nothing
I'm Andrielle and I'll let you get the best of me.


PROFILEY

I am a wandering spirit tangled in the shit of this transient thing called human existence. I'm the product of the things that have happened to me and the decisions I refused to make. I am nothing different than other people, I am pretty normal-- well, I thought I was unique back then but people started claiming they were unique too, so, hello reality.

EXITSY

Pausiu Jio Denielle James Crisa

ARCHIVES;

March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 November 2008 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009

Monday, April 28, 2008
4:08 AM

Your mind says you don’t want to love him anymore,
Yet, is that what you truly desire inside your heart?
Unable to express the emotions that stir within,
You would rather throw them all away or lock them up,
Without so much as a second thought at all.

You dare not to speak words of affection to him,
For everything before was almost lost to nothing.
The feeling continues to grow more each day,
Knowing in your heart you cannot be without him.
The needles of pain continue to prick your sensitive heart.

You wish you could forget all about him once and for all,
To throw away the feelings of attachment and smiling moments.
Would you rather to have lived without them at all?
To run through your life not knowing him at all?
In your heart, do you wish it was nothing at all?

Think to yourself and seek your own perfect answer,
For running away from unfamiliar emotions will be neverending.
Give yourself a conclusion that your mind and heart will coincide.
If you wish to love him, love him with all your heart, mind and soul.
If you wish to forget, then don’t regret the moments shared.

The taste of love is so bittersweet.

Will you ever notice me...

Thursday, April 24, 2008
10:41 PM

Touch It Silent
i've waited my whole life for this
its real, surreal, a tangible dream
unreal
but now that i'm here; and desperation has come
i'm so confused, i dont know what to do
how to face you
what to say to you
break down the walls of predestined destruction between us
too much havoc
too tense
to speak
so forget the words
drop them
leave them in the back of your mind
and hold me
feel me
use your touch to tell me
that everything will be alright

Will you ever notice me...

Sunday, April 20, 2008
11:08 PM

Promises broken and words unspoken.
I will never be able to measure your devotion.

Broken hearts and healing open wounds,
Pain is something I never thought that you knew.

Forever separated but always reunited;
My contradictory presence continues to be ignited.

My farewell, the silent goodbye.
Nothing shall ever happen again between you and I.

I miss my dogT_____T

Will you ever notice me...

Saturday, April 19, 2008
11:02 PM

i noticed that I have'nt been posting lately. Well I can only tell you one thing, this summer is the worst ever!

anyway.. here starts my new post.

Time has frozen still, as I am taken to my sanctuary of peace within my mind. Everything is as peaceful as a crystal clear lake surrounded by greenery underneath a blue sky in a place where no one else can enter except for myself.

I’ve been hyponotized into serenity - I never thought it would be possible. With my eyes open or closed, all I can see is a warm light with the feeling of happiness and love surge through me ever so slowly, but surely. Its as if a pebble was dropped in the middle of my crystal lake, rippling from the center to the outer edges, affecting the whole entity.

I have found my inspiration, and there is no way I can ever let it go. It has become my love, taken over my heart and taken a tight grip on my soul. Perhaps it was fated - are we bounded by the red thread? I sincerely hope that we are, because then I know something will always keep us connected.

Will you ever notice me...

Friday, April 4, 2008
7:41 PM


Though my body yearns to be rested, knowing quite well I have quite an occasion tomorrow to attend, my heart and mind seem to be at unease for reasons which I cannot even understand myself. I have laid in my burgandy quilted bed for more than an hour an a half with no success of getting any shut eye.

My mind did not seem to care as it wandered off to heartbreaking but somewhat blissful daydreams in which can only exist within my wishful thought as I continued to lay in bed, trying to decipher the meaning behind the hollow feeling which had taken up residence in my heart tonight.

At first, my instinct was that someone close to me was also at unease and thus, sharing their connection but there is no way for me to verify such a occurance. Though it still may be a possibility, its not quite the answer that I am seeking at the moment.

This feeling had crept into me earlier tonight as I was happily chatting away to a very dear friend of mine, one who I consider more of a part of my family than majority of the ones I am bonded to by blood. I could not understand the reason for the empty existance then any better than I do in my present state.

I have the most awkward feeling that something isn’t quite right at the moment though, may it be something in my life right now or something which will occur tomorrow during my playful expedition.

Regardless of this mysterious emotion currently present within my being, I do need to lay myself to sleep but my efforts are proving fruitless thus far. I also had the urge to write and describe this vibe for no particular reason.

Hopefully I will be able to get the beauty sleep I wish for now.

Will you ever notice me...

Wednesday, April 2, 2008
6:49 PM

This is a song by first lady.Even though I really hate this song, this is exactly the song that i can really relate to rgith now..

Baby I love you and i'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erase
And i promise you that you will never be replaced

I love you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me too
Until the end of time
From the day I met you
I know we've be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you and i wanna have your kids
Thinking never compare to feeling of your kisses
I can say i'm truly happy to the same
You made me think I better live my life everyday
There's never been no doubt in my mind
That i'll regret ever having you by my side
But if the day come that i'll have to let you go
I think that something I should probadly let you know
That everything that i spent with you
Then i will miss you cuz i'm happy that i have you at all

Baby I love you and i'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erase
And i promise you that you will never be replaced


I feel for you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time

Will you ever notice me...

6:07 PM


ahahaha,,the pic is just too funny. Anyway, I'm feeling really empty rght now. I dont know why. Maybe I'm just_______ haha, I can't bear to say the word. The pain is tearing me up inside. Last night, I was almost admitted to the hospital because I punched the mirror in my room. I dont remember the exact reason why I did that. Geez I think I'm starting to get mental^__^. And I didn't even got a wink of sleep last night! Ha this someone is driving me crazy! Eh, this topic is really getting to nowhere^__^. But I think i'll just ramble about what i feel. Hm, I really dont know where to start(-_-'). I guess I should just let him goT_T FOR NOW. After all, he was never mine..oh yes that's right! The person that I'm talking about was never mine!Hahaha, very lunatic no? And now, I can't even bear to look at his picture^_^. So that's why i deleted all of his pics in my computer. but then again, there's only one picture that I was not able to delete, haha. I'm so stupid. But when one day, the world turn its back on him, he doesnt have to worry for he still have me^_^ , even though he doesnt know it. I'll share the same pain and sorrows with him^_^.

Will you ever notice me...

5:11 AM


It’s summer; the sun’s smiling brightly

But autumn reigns inside me.

I feel like a tree who just lost a leaf

Because you left; now inside my heart

Is a terrible heartache.

Help me realize I am no tree

And you are not a leaf;

You are a river, and I am a creek.

Though we are from different worlds,

We came to travel side by side;

But the time has come that we must sail apart.

I flow on by, as I know you would.

Have faith, let us both believe

That we will intertwine somewhere, someday again.

And when we each reach destiny’s ocean

Trust that I will have a smile for you, my friend.

Will you ever notice me...

Tuesday, April 1, 2008
3:14 AM


your eyes are like the sea dark blue mixed with green i could stare and stare all day and have nothing to say around you i feel safe i don't feel out of place but sadly i screwed up my chances i've out of answers i have hurt you before i let you in then shoved you out the door i broke your heart twice i'm not very nice i need to save you from me an ememy to your heart, i'll always be and yet i'll knock on your door late at night you'll open up to me with one fight you comfort me when i'm sad and when i'm mad why do you do this to me i feel so guilty i hurt you so much i'm such a screw up please please darling i don't want to make you bleed while i scream so if you want me to leave please tell me so i won't hurt you like i have before

Will you ever notice me...